The sex trade is diverse and includes street work, stripping, ‘indoor,’ escort/call girl, porn, and even the well-kept mistress qualifies for some – the courtesan.
My serenity, as accepted truth, is that I experienced prostitution in a multiple of venues – starting with street work at 15. I have moved on, never to forget the life lessons. It’s all rich even if some lessons were traumatically delivered.
Well, I found out that a sister (we call each other ‘sister’ in our group, Serenity Sisters) who was an escort, has been telling others that many of us were never prostitutes. I guess this was the hierarchal trap of bottom behavior that recovery groups face – “if you did not get a DUI you aren’t an alcoholic..” or “unless you get arrested for prostitution you are not one of us” and “you did not experience domestic violence if it was only name calling – where are the bruises and broken bones?”
Wow. This was a new one for me.
I never thought I would be so fortunate to hear the usual slander in reverse – that I was never a prostitute!
Ah, but Serenity means no mind fucking allowed. What is the truth here?
What I often hear in Serenity Sisters meetings at Rosie’s Place is, “I had to do what I had to do.” You know what – there is dignity in that choice – to do what you had to do to survive. We are always looking for a healthier way ‘to do what we gotta do to make it!’
So, maybe our group’s sister is right – naming sets up trouble. If I had to choose between “prostitute” and “loved” (and both are my reality) I would say “loved” is the pre-eminent naming and any other can be a distraction from this affirming truth.
